The First Annual Lapsie Awards (Part Two - Electric Boogaloo)

Chris Benoit - first recipient of AMLoR's "Douchebag of the Year"

No pomp and circumstances right now. Let's jump right into this thing, yo!

The 2007 Laspie Awards (Individual and Group Achievements In Fame, Infamy, and Overall lulz!)

First award: This Man Needs to Be the Next President of the USA Based Solely On This Video!


The only things I know about Ron Paul are as follows:

• He believes the US has no business in Iraq.
• He wants to restore the gold standard as a form of currency.
• He is a mammal.
• "...He's got brains and he's got balls..."
• Sadly doesn't stand a real chance since the Republicans will go with Rudy Giuliani.

Honourable Mention: The potential destruction of all sex/race barriers of a Clinton/Obama ticket as seen here:

Best Use of Performance Enhancing Substances: Major League Baseball. Between Barry Bonds breaking the career home run record, rampant rumours of steroid use going back to the late 90s and the Mitchell Report that came out towards the end of the year implicating more names, is there any form of athletic competition that is clean? Probably not.

(Dis)Honourable Mention: Chris Benoit - Suicidal, Homicidal Douchebag.

Best Children's Show Entertainer-Turned-Martyr:

Farfour, a Mickey Mouse lookalike that appeared on The Pioneers of Tomorrow (A children's show that airs in Lebanon.). Taught Arab children to hate Israel and by association the western world. Was killed after refusing to hand over land bequeathed to him by his ailing grandpa to an evil Israeli. Seriously.

Parent of the Year: Kevin Federline. Remember when everyone was saying that Britney was too good for him? Yeah, me neither.

(Dis)Honourable Mention: Alec Baldwin, for totally pWning his daughter on voice-mail.

The Mel Gibson Award For Promoting Racial Harmony and Tolerance: Duane Chapman, better known as "Dog the Bounty Hunter", for his eloquent usage of the 'n' word.

Honourable Mention: Don Imus, for referring to the Rutgers women's basketball team as a bunch of "nappy-headed ho's".

Greatest Act of Infamy: Cho Seung-Hui, former Virginia Tech student/frustrated playwright. Shot and killed 30 or so students before shooting himself.

Biggest Fall From Grace: Michael Vick, former superstar quarterback turned underground dogfighting participant.

(Dis)Honourable Mention: Britney Spears. 'nuff said!
Speaking of Brit-Brit:

Overrated Sensation of the Year: Chris Crocker, also known as the "Leave Britney Alone!" person. I had this long-winded rant planned, but decided not to waste further time on him/her/whatever it is...

He Should Have Won American Idol: Sanjaya Malakar. What could have been the greatest moment in the history of reality television was robbed once the people who kept voting for him realized what kind of unholy hell was about to be released. Now he is probably going to be relegated to touring with William Hung. Thanks a lot, AI fans, you're all dead to me!

Animal of the Year: Tatania the Siberian Tiger.

Biggest Twist of the Year: None that I could think off the top of my head. Maybe that's the twist.

Anyways, that is all for this year. Here's hoping 2008 will bring in just as many crazy things as 2007 did because there goes most of my content. Anyways - Happy New Year!