Unfortunately, this is real..

So while I'm trying to wrap my head around how in the world NBC is planning to do an Office spin-off, FOX goes ahead and apparently greenlit The Cleveland Show - a spin-off of Family Guy. I can only assume that it will suck as much as Family Guy now does since coming back and thus turning Sunday nights on FOX into an evening of watching the slow painful demise of The Simpsons (C'mon, it's been on for nearly 3 decades now! Even Gunsmoke probably showed signs of its longevity!) and 90 minutes of Seth McFarlane. So unless I get hooked onto Bones and catch up on House reruns that Showcase is airing between Trailer Park Boys reruns and "Porn-disguised as art" films, FOX is going to be dead to me* for the 2008-09 TV season.

*American Idol officially died last season for me when Sanjaya wasn't crowned the winner. So any future winners are dead to me too. David Cook? Is he like Dane Cook's evil twin or something? ;-)

Man survives bear attack; Seems a LITTLE too calm about ordeal...

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/cbc/080516/canada/vancouver_bc_bear_mauls_man

Normally, this would get a "Well, don't fuck around with wild animals! Duh!" response from me, but there is a two-fold level of lulz found in this story:

1. Buddy's rather calm reaction to having his life nearly snuffed out. Gems like "'He's eating my gristle and he's gnawing on my head. I was saying, 'He's eating my brains. I can feel it.' I know it's happening and I said, 'God! I hope it gets over soon.' " and "'I'm too young to die. I don't want to die'" seem a little too calm for my liking. I know if it was me in that situation I would be like "zOMGz! SHIT FUUUUCK! QUIT KILLING ME!" while flailing away. Maybe his appraoch worked out in the end because:

2. The bear apparently gave him up and just left him to scurry away to obtain medical help. Way to establish yourself as a ruthless killing machine, ya fucking pansy-assed bear! God, now I hope you do die out! Seriously, Winnie the Pooh is probably a badder-assed bear than this one.

But I guess in the end, this rule still stands: DON'T FUCK AROUND WITH BEARS!

...bees too...

LOL, Black People!

This happened nearly a week ago and I'm still trying to figure out what is going on here. Considering I'm a white guy from Canadia whose closest interaction with the colored folk is on the TV, this behavior both confuses and scares me. Why can't they be more jovial like Bob Sapp?:



A Momentary Lapse of Reason: Setting the civil rights movement and political correctness at least two centuries back.

Happy 60th Birthday Israel!

Yes, everyone's favorite Zionist country is 60 years old today. A country that if the western world turned its back on, the Arab world would surely use this song as a rallying call to turn Israel into a giant rubble in the sand and would greet us with open arms finally. So, many happy returns Israel, you deserve it!

What is wrong with Japan?!

... for the first time in my life, I'm speechless. I am without speech...