http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/cbc/080516/canada/vancouver_bc_bear_mauls_man
Normally, this would get a "Well, don't fuck around with wild animals! Duh!" response from me, but there is a two-fold level of lulz found in this story:
1. Buddy's rather calm reaction to having his life nearly snuffed out. Gems like "'He's eating my gristle and he's gnawing on my head. I was saying, 'He's eating my brains. I can feel it.' I know it's happening and I said, 'God! I hope it gets over soon.' " and "'I'm too young to die. I don't want to die'" seem a little too calm for my liking. I know if it was me in that situation I would be like "zOMGz! SHIT FUUUUCK! QUIT KILLING ME!" while flailing away. Maybe his appraoch worked out in the end because:
2. The bear apparently gave him up and just left him to scurry away to obtain medical help. Way to establish yourself as a ruthless killing machine, ya fucking pansy-assed bear! God, now I hope you do die out! Seriously, Winnie the Pooh is probably a badder-assed bear than this one.
But I guess in the end, this rule still stands: DON'T FUCK AROUND WITH BEARS!
...bees too...
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