Any actual names, non original content, or likenesses of celebrities are used in a fictitious and parodic manner.
CHAPTER TWELEVE: ZOMBIES! THEY CRAVED STAWNICHY’S MEAT PRODUCTS! OR, IN WHICH DEAN AND COMPANY VISIT MUNDARE AND RUN AFOUL OF THE TOWNSFOLK AND DISCOVER A GHOST FROM DEAN’S PAST.
“The Lord said to Abram after Lot had parted from him, ‘Lift up your eyes from where you are and look north and south, east and west. All the land that you see I will give to you and your offspring forever. I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted. Go; walk through the length and breadth of the land, for I am giving it to you.’" - Genesis 13:14-17. (New International Version)
“Another head hangs lowly/Child is slowly taken/And the violence caused such silence/Who are we mistaken/But you see it's not me,/it's not my family/In your head, in your/head they are fighting/With their tanks and their bombs/And their bombs and their guns/In your head,/In your head they are cryin'/In your head, in your head/Zombie, zombie, zombie/What's in your head, in your head/Zombie, zombie, zombie" - The Cranberries, “Zombie”
Good old Secondary Highway 855 - nicknamed “the Kubasa Trail” by the locals because it was the road that took one from Andrew to Mundare. Mundare was home to Stawnichy’s Meat Products: makers of fine meat products that included Ukrainian garlic sausage, which was also known as “kubasa”. Dean Williams, along with his girlfriend Karen, co-worker Ryan, crazed self-proclaimed guardian Ariel, and two little girls rescued from a gang of youth who have ran amuck in Andrew, made their way down the narrow-paved highway. They were approximately ten miles away from heading into Mundare and had their travel halted by a military barricade. Dean brought the SUV to a slow halt and rowed down his window to speak to an approaching military police officer, a green-eyed brown-haired woman who seemed to have a permanent scowl upon her face.
“Sir, I’m afraid I have to ask you to turn your vehicle around and head back. This area is closed off”, she told Dean.
“Closed off? Why? I thought only Edmonton was sectioned off?” Dean asked.
“I’m sorry sir, but I’m not authorized to discuss this information with civilians.” the officer replied. “I was only assigned here today and have been ordered to turn all vehicles back.”
Ariel, noticing that the little girls were cowering in fear of the military police and other surrounding military personnel, decided to pose a question of her own, “Excuse me. These two girls are from Andrew, and they say their parents were taken away by the army. We would like to know where they are and if we can return their kids back to them?”
“I’m sorry ma’am. I’m unaware of any previous military operations in this region other than this one.” The officer replied, “In fact, this is our first day in this region in Alberta since we took over…”
“What do you mean ‘took over’?” asked Karen.
“The Right Honorable Stephen Harper has invoked the War Measures Act and has placed Alberta under martial law until further notice. That is all the information I am authorized to give to civilians at this time” the officer informed Karen.
One of the little girls asked Ariel “Does she know where our mommy is?”
Ariel looked at the girl. “That’s what we’re trying to find out here.” Ariel then went on the offensive and spoke to the officer again. “We would like to speak to your commanding officer.” She demanded.
Another officer, a salt-and-pepper haired older man approached the vehicle and talked to the female officer. “Is there a problem here?” he asked her.
“No sir,” she told what appeared to be her commanding officer, “These people were about to leave, right?”
Ariel was about to say something back, but Dean raised his hand as if to tell her to hold her tongue back. Dean then looked at the officers and said “Of course we are. Have a nice day.” Dean then rolled up the window and put the Explorer into reverse and began to head towards Andrew again.
“Why the fuck are we going back to Andrew?” Ariel protested. “Those grunts back there know more than they gave us and they probably do know where these kids’ parents are at and…”
Dean interrupted Ariel’s rant. “Because there is more than one way to get into Mundare, providing they just don’t have the whole area under heavy guard.”
Ryan spoke. “What makes you think they don’t?” he asked.
Karen decided it was time to add to the conversation, “Because while this is an emergency situation, we still have to remember this is the Canadian army we’re dealing with her, and years of neglect and a crisis situation here may have left a few holes in their armor.”
Dean just smiled at Karen. “Okay, Kevin…” he said to her jokingly.
“Please. If it was a full Kevin impersonation, there would have been at least one reference to grains or wolves.” Karen said with an adorable smirk on her face.
Mundare seemed to suffer from the same fate as Willingdon and Andrew in that no one seemed to be around. Dean and Karen’s idea of getting to Mundare off various back country roads seemed to work as there was no military presence on the roads they followed to take them enough into the town limits. Driving around the town once again turned up no one. It seemed like the entire town had been deserted, except for the odd armored troop transports that popped up. While the initial static from the military police on the 855 seemed like any kind of interlopers would be prosecuted to the full extent of their newfound powers, these soldiers seemed to ignore the green Explorer which was the only moving civilian vehicle in the area.
“This isn’t making sense.” Ryan stated. “The way they were talking back there made it sound like some major shit was going on here.”
“I don’t know either,” said Dean. “But even weirder is the fact they seem to be ignoring us.”
Dean turned the corner and noticed a large group of people gathering. He hit the brakes and stopped just in time before hitting someone in the group. From an initial survey, this group of people seemed very slow moving.
“Are our mommies in that group of people?” one of the little girls asked openly.
Ariel quickly answered, “I don’t know. Dean, maybe we should go out there and ask around.”
Karen raised one concern, “Well, since we’re getting closer to ground zero, are you sure it’s safe in terms of radiation?”
“Considering those soldiers aren’t wearing biohazard suits, I’m assuming we should be okay.” Ariel inferred.
Dean then gave everyone instructions, “All right then, we’ll head out and try to find them. Ariel, you keep the kids close to you. Ryan and Karen, grab some guns because god knows what may go down out there when we get there.”
Everyone stepped outside of the vehicle. Karen was a little hesitant in carrying a firearm partly because she always carried herself as a pacifist, and partly because she was on the front lines of saving peoples’ lives, and didn’t want to feel like she would be taking a life. She really felt strong about that second reason since her sister Tracy died a while back. But now between roaming teen gangs and walking corn stalks, maybe it was time for her to chuck her values for the time being. Now all she had to do was hope she didn’t actually have to shoot the damn thing off.
Walking among the group of people, a lot of them seemed to ignore the six that seemed to be moving at a normal pace. The large group kept their distance from Dean and company for a reason not known to them.
“Do you notice something weird here?” Karen whispered to Dean, hoping not to startle the six or so pale-looking men that were surrounding them.
“Other than the fact that we seem to be stuck in a group of zombies and for most parts they seem to be ignoring us and not ripping us apart?” Dean replied back quietly.
“Wait, how did you know?” Karen asked but realized that was not what she was trying to talk about. “Do you also notice something in the air? It smells familiar.”
Dean sniffed and breathed in some of the air that permeated the local atmosphere. “Smells like garlic… nahh, it couldn’t be.” He said somewhat dismissively.
Ryan, eavesdropping on the conversation, stated. “Dudes, we’re in Mundare. Half the time the town smells like kubasa. The other times it smells like a mix of crack and weed.”
“Well, that may be true,” Dean said, “But the smell is pretty overpowering. And these zombies seem to be moving in one direction.”
“You don’t think?” Ryan pondered.
“It may be the only logical move.” Dean replied.
“What are you two going on about?” Ariel asked from behind.
“First, we should head to Stawnichy’s and see if we’re right.” Dean insisted.
Stawnichy’s Meat Processing, the cornerstone of Mundare’s economy. Dean and his party fought their way through the crowd of undead up to the front of the group. Once they got there, they saw about ten or so soldiers, each holding combat rifles. One of the soldiers noticed Dean’s group amongst the pale.
“Sire, there appears to be six norms here!” the soldier said into a walkie-talkie. The soldier then listened to the response, which was indistinct to Dean and company. “Yes sir!” the soldier then said and began to walk towards Dean.
“I have orders to escort you out of here and inside the building,” the soldier said to Dean. “I recommend you all to move now!” he commanded. Dean shrugged his shoulders and motioned for everyone to follow him.
“Why are we following them?” Ariel asked.
“I don’t know,” Karen answered to Ariel’s question. “But I have a feeling we’re better off going with them than stay out here.”
Inside, the sales area of Stawnichy’s was turned into what could be best described as a command center for the military presence. An older looking man, in full combat fatigues, stood behind the counter and moved to the main floor to where Dean, Karen, Ryan, Ariel, and the two girls were.
“Welcome to Outpost A431,” the soldier said. “I’m Captain Robert Burns, commander of this outpost. Who are you and why did you break our blockade?”
Dean chose to be the spokesman for the group. “Well, sir, my name is Dean Williams. This is my girlfriend, Karen Anderson…” he said with Karen reaching out to shake the captain’s hand.
Ariel then jumped in. “Ariel Toroshenko, daughter of Harold Toroshenko, captain of the Royal Canadian Armed Forces, retired and recently deceased.”
Captain Burns acknowledged Ariel’s introduction. “Sorry to hear about your loss.” He said.
Ryan was the next to speak. “Ryan Jeffries, I guess I’m a pilot in training. What are you doing to my hometown and do you know where these girls’ parents are at?”
“Well Mister Jeffries,” Captain Burns began to speak. “We have taken over the town formerly known as Mundare under War Measures Act protocol in order to secure the town from an unknown threat…”
“You mean the zombies out there?” Ariel asked.
“Correct,” Captain Burns answered. “While we were surprised that this threat was not totally lethal, we felt a need to contain and neutralize the threat with extreme prejudice.”
Everyone did a double take and then jumped when the sound of gunfire started to echo from the outside.
“Everyone to the back of this building right NOW!” ordered Captain Burns as all the soldiers ran off into the back with Dean and company following suit. Ryan was curious and looked back to hear what sounded like a fighter plane swooshing over the area and then saw a huge explosion. There has to be more to this if they went THAT far, Ryan thought to himself as the shockwave shook the building and knocked him on his backside.
“So, you decided to turn Mundare into a war zone, eh?” Ryan asked Captain Burns.
“That is a rather glib way of looking at it,” Captain Burns replied rather sternly. “We have our orders to secure all of Alberta by any means necessary.”
“So, why here?” asked Karen.
“For some reason, the infected population seemed to only move for the smell of these fine meat products here,” Captain Burns answered. “We decided to exploit that weakness to draw them here and eliminate the problem before it got worse.”
“Okay, so you wanted to curb a potential outbreak. Now explain why you guys took all the adults away from Andrew?” Ariel demanded to know.
“That area is under control by a different platoon. We have no control in what goes on there, even though we had heard the entire population has been evacuated to an undisclosed area.” Captain Burns answered again.
“Well that’s great,” Ariel said sarcastically. “Because that little group of soldiers left a bunch of children behind!” she said as she showed the two little girls, who cowered behind Ariel, afraid of the soldiers.
“I assure you ma’am, that all civilians were evacuated from that area.” Captain Burns insisted. “However, once we have ensured this sector has been secured and no further sign of outbreak is evident, I will try to get in touch with that area’s commanding officer and figure out what is going on.”
A female soldier then came up to Captain Burns and handed him a piece of paper. He looked over it and read it to himself. “Oh, crap!” He exclaimed. “It seems that they did only take the adults and left the children there.”
Ariel rolled her eyes after hearing that little tidbit of information. “Well, what are we going to do now?” she asked.
“Don’t worry. We will take the children here and reunite them with their families. The platoon in charge has recently shown up in Andrew and is completing its task there.” said Captain Burns.
The girls seemed happy yet nervous as they did not fully trust the soldiers. Ariel nodded to them, insisting they were now going into good hands.
“How about if I remove my uniform, will that make them less nervous?” the female soldier asked Captain Burns.
Wait a second, Dean thought to himself, that voice seems familiar.
“You have my permission, Sergeant Fields.” Captain Burns agreed.
It can’t be her, can it? Dean wondered to himself as he watched the female soldier remove her combat jacket to reveal a military green tank top, and removed her beret to reveal a familiar brown mane of hair Dean had seen last over six years ago.
“Excuse me?” Dean asked the female sergeant. “Is your first name ‘Penny’ by any chance?”
Karen perked up and said. “Penny?! The same Penny that got your name wrong on the first date?!” she said kind of shocked.
The sergeant looked and said “Actually yes it is. Oh my god! Is that you, Dan?”
Dean just slapped his hand on his forehead and shook in disbelief. “Still can’t get it right after all these years!” he muttered to himself.
“Sir, I’m afraid I have to ask you to turn your vehicle around and head back. This area is closed off”, she told Dean.
“Closed off? Why? I thought only Edmonton was sectioned off?” Dean asked.
“I’m sorry sir, but I’m not authorized to discuss this information with civilians.” the officer replied. “I was only assigned here today and have been ordered to turn all vehicles back.”
Ariel, noticing that the little girls were cowering in fear of the military police and other surrounding military personnel, decided to pose a question of her own, “Excuse me. These two girls are from Andrew, and they say their parents were taken away by the army. We would like to know where they are and if we can return their kids back to them?”
“I’m sorry ma’am. I’m unaware of any previous military operations in this region other than this one.” The officer replied, “In fact, this is our first day in this region in Alberta since we took over…”
“What do you mean ‘took over’?” asked Karen.
“The Right Honorable Stephen Harper has invoked the War Measures Act and has placed Alberta under martial law until further notice. That is all the information I am authorized to give to civilians at this time” the officer informed Karen.
One of the little girls asked Ariel “Does she know where our mommy is?”
Ariel looked at the girl. “That’s what we’re trying to find out here.” Ariel then went on the offensive and spoke to the officer again. “We would like to speak to your commanding officer.” She demanded.
Another officer, a salt-and-pepper haired older man approached the vehicle and talked to the female officer. “Is there a problem here?” he asked her.
“No sir,” she told what appeared to be her commanding officer, “These people were about to leave, right?”
Ariel was about to say something back, but Dean raised his hand as if to tell her to hold her tongue back. Dean then looked at the officers and said “Of course we are. Have a nice day.” Dean then rolled up the window and put the Explorer into reverse and began to head towards Andrew again.
“Why the fuck are we going back to Andrew?” Ariel protested. “Those grunts back there know more than they gave us and they probably do know where these kids’ parents are at and…”
Dean interrupted Ariel’s rant. “Because there is more than one way to get into Mundare, providing they just don’t have the whole area under heavy guard.”
Ryan spoke. “What makes you think they don’t?” he asked.
Karen decided it was time to add to the conversation, “Because while this is an emergency situation, we still have to remember this is the Canadian army we’re dealing with her, and years of neglect and a crisis situation here may have left a few holes in their armor.”
Dean just smiled at Karen. “Okay, Kevin…” he said to her jokingly.
“Please. If it was a full Kevin impersonation, there would have been at least one reference to grains or wolves.” Karen said with an adorable smirk on her face.
Mundare seemed to suffer from the same fate as Willingdon and Andrew in that no one seemed to be around. Dean and Karen’s idea of getting to Mundare off various back country roads seemed to work as there was no military presence on the roads they followed to take them enough into the town limits. Driving around the town once again turned up no one. It seemed like the entire town had been deserted, except for the odd armored troop transports that popped up. While the initial static from the military police on the 855 seemed like any kind of interlopers would be prosecuted to the full extent of their newfound powers, these soldiers seemed to ignore the green Explorer which was the only moving civilian vehicle in the area.
“This isn’t making sense.” Ryan stated. “The way they were talking back there made it sound like some major shit was going on here.”
“I don’t know either,” said Dean. “But even weirder is the fact they seem to be ignoring us.”
Dean turned the corner and noticed a large group of people gathering. He hit the brakes and stopped just in time before hitting someone in the group. From an initial survey, this group of people seemed very slow moving.
“Are our mommies in that group of people?” one of the little girls asked openly.
Ariel quickly answered, “I don’t know. Dean, maybe we should go out there and ask around.”
Karen raised one concern, “Well, since we’re getting closer to ground zero, are you sure it’s safe in terms of radiation?”
“Considering those soldiers aren’t wearing biohazard suits, I’m assuming we should be okay.” Ariel inferred.
Dean then gave everyone instructions, “All right then, we’ll head out and try to find them. Ariel, you keep the kids close to you. Ryan and Karen, grab some guns because god knows what may go down out there when we get there.”
Everyone stepped outside of the vehicle. Karen was a little hesitant in carrying a firearm partly because she always carried herself as a pacifist, and partly because she was on the front lines of saving peoples’ lives, and didn’t want to feel like she would be taking a life. She really felt strong about that second reason since her sister Tracy died a while back. But now between roaming teen gangs and walking corn stalks, maybe it was time for her to chuck her values for the time being. Now all she had to do was hope she didn’t actually have to shoot the damn thing off.
Walking among the group of people, a lot of them seemed to ignore the six that seemed to be moving at a normal pace. The large group kept their distance from Dean and company for a reason not known to them.
“Do you notice something weird here?” Karen whispered to Dean, hoping not to startle the six or so pale-looking men that were surrounding them.
“Other than the fact that we seem to be stuck in a group of zombies and for most parts they seem to be ignoring us and not ripping us apart?” Dean replied back quietly.
“Wait, how did you know?” Karen asked but realized that was not what she was trying to talk about. “Do you also notice something in the air? It smells familiar.”
Dean sniffed and breathed in some of the air that permeated the local atmosphere. “Smells like garlic… nahh, it couldn’t be.” He said somewhat dismissively.
Ryan, eavesdropping on the conversation, stated. “Dudes, we’re in Mundare. Half the time the town smells like kubasa. The other times it smells like a mix of crack and weed.”
“Well, that may be true,” Dean said, “But the smell is pretty overpowering. And these zombies seem to be moving in one direction.”
“You don’t think?” Ryan pondered.
“It may be the only logical move.” Dean replied.
“What are you two going on about?” Ariel asked from behind.
“First, we should head to Stawnichy’s and see if we’re right.” Dean insisted.
Stawnichy’s Meat Processing, the cornerstone of Mundare’s economy. Dean and his party fought their way through the crowd of undead up to the front of the group. Once they got there, they saw about ten or so soldiers, each holding combat rifles. One of the soldiers noticed Dean’s group amongst the pale.
“Sire, there appears to be six norms here!” the soldier said into a walkie-talkie. The soldier then listened to the response, which was indistinct to Dean and company. “Yes sir!” the soldier then said and began to walk towards Dean.
“I have orders to escort you out of here and inside the building,” the soldier said to Dean. “I recommend you all to move now!” he commanded. Dean shrugged his shoulders and motioned for everyone to follow him.
“Why are we following them?” Ariel asked.
“I don’t know,” Karen answered to Ariel’s question. “But I have a feeling we’re better off going with them than stay out here.”
Inside, the sales area of Stawnichy’s was turned into what could be best described as a command center for the military presence. An older looking man, in full combat fatigues, stood behind the counter and moved to the main floor to where Dean, Karen, Ryan, Ariel, and the two girls were.
“Welcome to Outpost A431,” the soldier said. “I’m Captain Robert Burns, commander of this outpost. Who are you and why did you break our blockade?”
Dean chose to be the spokesman for the group. “Well, sir, my name is Dean Williams. This is my girlfriend, Karen Anderson…” he said with Karen reaching out to shake the captain’s hand.
Ariel then jumped in. “Ariel Toroshenko, daughter of Harold Toroshenko, captain of the Royal Canadian Armed Forces, retired and recently deceased.”
Captain Burns acknowledged Ariel’s introduction. “Sorry to hear about your loss.” He said.
Ryan was the next to speak. “Ryan Jeffries, I guess I’m a pilot in training. What are you doing to my hometown and do you know where these girls’ parents are at?”
“Well Mister Jeffries,” Captain Burns began to speak. “We have taken over the town formerly known as Mundare under War Measures Act protocol in order to secure the town from an unknown threat…”
“You mean the zombies out there?” Ariel asked.
“Correct,” Captain Burns answered. “While we were surprised that this threat was not totally lethal, we felt a need to contain and neutralize the threat with extreme prejudice.”
Everyone did a double take and then jumped when the sound of gunfire started to echo from the outside.
“Everyone to the back of this building right NOW!” ordered Captain Burns as all the soldiers ran off into the back with Dean and company following suit. Ryan was curious and looked back to hear what sounded like a fighter plane swooshing over the area and then saw a huge explosion. There has to be more to this if they went THAT far, Ryan thought to himself as the shockwave shook the building and knocked him on his backside.
“So, you decided to turn Mundare into a war zone, eh?” Ryan asked Captain Burns.
“That is a rather glib way of looking at it,” Captain Burns replied rather sternly. “We have our orders to secure all of Alberta by any means necessary.”
“So, why here?” asked Karen.
“For some reason, the infected population seemed to only move for the smell of these fine meat products here,” Captain Burns answered. “We decided to exploit that weakness to draw them here and eliminate the problem before it got worse.”
“Okay, so you wanted to curb a potential outbreak. Now explain why you guys took all the adults away from Andrew?” Ariel demanded to know.
“That area is under control by a different platoon. We have no control in what goes on there, even though we had heard the entire population has been evacuated to an undisclosed area.” Captain Burns answered again.
“Well that’s great,” Ariel said sarcastically. “Because that little group of soldiers left a bunch of children behind!” she said as she showed the two little girls, who cowered behind Ariel, afraid of the soldiers.
“I assure you ma’am, that all civilians were evacuated from that area.” Captain Burns insisted. “However, once we have ensured this sector has been secured and no further sign of outbreak is evident, I will try to get in touch with that area’s commanding officer and figure out what is going on.”
A female soldier then came up to Captain Burns and handed him a piece of paper. He looked over it and read it to himself. “Oh, crap!” He exclaimed. “It seems that they did only take the adults and left the children there.”
Ariel rolled her eyes after hearing that little tidbit of information. “Well, what are we going to do now?” she asked.
“Don’t worry. We will take the children here and reunite them with their families. The platoon in charge has recently shown up in Andrew and is completing its task there.” said Captain Burns.
The girls seemed happy yet nervous as they did not fully trust the soldiers. Ariel nodded to them, insisting they were now going into good hands.
“How about if I remove my uniform, will that make them less nervous?” the female soldier asked Captain Burns.
Wait a second, Dean thought to himself, that voice seems familiar.
“You have my permission, Sergeant Fields.” Captain Burns agreed.
It can’t be her, can it? Dean wondered to himself as he watched the female soldier remove her combat jacket to reveal a military green tank top, and removed her beret to reveal a familiar brown mane of hair Dean had seen last over six years ago.
“Excuse me?” Dean asked the female sergeant. “Is your first name ‘Penny’ by any chance?”
Karen perked up and said. “Penny?! The same Penny that got your name wrong on the first date?!” she said kind of shocked.
The sergeant looked and said “Actually yes it is. Oh my god! Is that you, Dan?”
Dean just slapped his hand on his forehead and shook in disbelief. “Still can’t get it right after all these years!” he muttered to himself.
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