PART THREE: THE CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER CHAPTER FIFTEEN: SOUTHSIDE SURPRISE! OR, IN WHICH DEAN’S ANGELS DESCEND UPON WHYTE AVENUE AND START A GUNFIGHT WITH ANOTHER THREAT.
“Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more, or close the wall up with our English dead! In peace there's nothing so becomes a manas modest stillness and humility; but when the blast of war blows in our ears, then imitate the action of the tiger: Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood.” - Henry V Act 3, Scene 1
“Everybody knows that the dice are loaded/Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed/Everybody knows that the war is over/Everybody knows the good guys lost/Everybody knows the fight was fixed/The poor stay poor, the rich get rich/That's how it goes/Everybody knows” - Leonard Cohen, “Everybody Knows”
“Everybody knows that the dice are loaded/Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed/Everybody knows that the war is over/Everybody knows the good guys lost/Everybody knows the fight was fixed/The poor stay poor, the rich get rich/That's how it goes/Everybody knows” - Leonard Cohen, “Everybody Knows”
So the new plan of attack was devised. Kevin, along with Ryan, Sarah, and the unlikely duo of Keith Richards and Ric Flair, would head first towards the north side of Edmonton and eventually making their way to the west end. Dean took his current girlfriend Karen, his boss Donnie, a crazed gun-wielding Ariel, and finally Penny, the woman who never got his name right over six years ago. Dean also inherited a crappy nu-metal act whose name was never known nor it will ever be known as they were kicked out at Elk Island Park after their annoying habits got on the nerves of Ariel, who had initially wanted to take their heads off with her trusty shotgun, but cooler heads prevailed as Dean pulled over and the band was forced out. As Dean quickly drove off, the band was quickly trampled to death by the local wild buffalo heard, and there was much rejoicing.
Heading back into Edmonton was stirring up different types of emotions in everyone. For both Penny and Karen, it was their hometown. They both grew up there and had family and friends that were still there. Both of them kept in touch with their respective relations there, and both wondered what their fates were after the attack on the capital region. Dean had mixed emotions about Edmonton, more so because his years of living there were a mixed bag of dizzying highs and near fatal lows. It almost felt like a type of redemption for Dean, maybe he could make up for his squandered opportunities and his family would finally be proud of an accomplishment he did. Not that they were never proud of Dean, it was just between flunking out of university and feeling lost until he met Kevin really strained things between Dean and his family – especially his father. Ariel tried to keep her memories buried deep, as she had done a lot of things in Edmonton she was never proud of. The Ariel that sat in the back seat of a green Explorer was a different girl from her Edmonton years living on the street. Donnie was the only one with no real emotional attachment to the city, other than it being the closest thing to civilization in what he viewed was the uncivilized north.
“Why didn’t Sarah ever take that job in Calgary?” Donnie muttered to himself. Being from southern Alberta, Donnie felt that was the place to be. Especially now, if Calgary wasn’t targeted, he and his wife and child wouldn’t have to worry about stuff like cybernetic vines and sausage-craving zombies.
“What was he thinking, taking both my wife AND daughter?!” moaned Donnie, who was just having a hard time being separated from his family who were now part of Kevin’s team.
“I don’t know either,” replied Dean. “All I can think about is that Kev must have a plan if he took your wife and daughter. Well, more so your wife…”
“What does that mean exactly?” asked Donnie annoyingly.
“Well, maybe he needs her to explain some of the sciency stuff he doesn’t know about?” suggested Karen.
“That would probably be a task in itself, so I see the point sort of.” Donnie said as he rolled his eyes.
“That and so far Kevin’s been right about a lot of things.” Dean said in his absent friend’s defense.
“You do realize I’m your boss still, right?” said Donnie to Dean.
“Well, I assume between the whole province under martial law and Joanne getting assimilated by the vine hive, our jobs are the least of our worries right about now.” Dean replied back.
Whyte Avenue. Southside Edmonton’s premier club and niche shopping section would normally be abuzz with people and activity, but such was not the case as Dean drove down and was able to find a parking spot along the notable street. Penny was the first to step out - Geiger counter in hand to ensure the area was not overly radioactive outside.
“That’s odd,” Penny commented. “I’m getting no reading whatsoever.”
“Are you sure it’s working properly?” asked Karen.
“All equipment was checked before we were assigned them.” Penny replied.
“Didn’t you say that maybe Edmonton was never hit by a nuclear warhead?” Donnie asked.
“I said I didn’t know if it was or not. Right now it looks it no, but where is everybody then?” Penny said.
Suddenly, a sound was heard nearby. It sounded like an empty can being briefly kicked and rolling across the pavement. Ariel immediately got her trusty shotgun ready while everyone else stood back as a pale looking girl, probably in her late teens came out from an alleyway.
“She looks rather odd.” Donnie commented.
“Nahh, she’s probably a local girl. Huh, the years may get on, but there’s always a few Goth girls always hanging around here.” Karen said with Donnie nodding in agreement. However, the young girl looked not too impressed with their presence.
“What is that on her face?” Karen asked pointing at some kind of black substance dripping from her eyes. “Can’t be mascara running, right?”
Penny coldly replied. “I wouldn’t know, make up is for false presentations and whores.” Then a few more people emerged from the same spot where the young lady came from, all with the same looking black goop around their eyes.
“Either there was a Slipknot concert during the attack or these people are…” Dean could not continue on with his sentence as the small group of pale faced interlopers quickly began running towards him and his group.
“Shit! Fire at will! Show no fucking mercy!” screamed Ariel who began firing at will at the pack of people, who seemed to be foaming at the mouth and faces showing emotions of rage and anger. Penny quickly followed suit when she was nearly taken down from behind from another rage-filled black-oozed attacker. Dean, Karen, and Donnie, who all were foolishly unarmed, sneaked back into the Explorer.
“I’m rather content letting the two gun-crazed girls slug it out with them to be quite honest” Donnie confessed.
Karen, feeling like maybe now was the time to shed away her pacifist ways, jumped into the back and feverishly began rooting around looking for something.
“What are you looking for, Kare Bear?” Dean asked.
“Seeing if I was smart enough to pack… YES!” Karen exclaimed with delight as she pulled out a replica samurai sword.
“Where the fuck did you get that from?!” asked a shocked Donnie.
“Kevin got it for me for last Halloween when I went as The Bride from ‘Kill Bill’” Karen replied. “You remember that night, don’t you Dean?”
Dean smiled to himself, knowing that after the party they went to that night was one of the more passionate moments in his life. However, he would have to hold off on totally reminiscing about that night when about five or six of the rage-filled people began pounding and scratching at the exterior of his vehicle. Karen surprised everyone inside when she rolled down the window and rather messily decapitated one of the new threatening monsters.
“Gunfire isn’t going to simply win this one.” Karen proclaimed. “I’m stepping out!” she said as she exited the Exploring, swinging her sword.
“You sure you know what you’re doing?” Dean said rather concerned about the safety of his girlfriend.
“Trust me, I read the ‘Zombie Survival Guide’! It’s one of my five!” she replied after chopping off another head.
Donnie looked confused as usual. “One of her five what?”
Dean just looked at him. “Five books to bring along for the end of the world!” he replied.
Both Ariel and Penny looked shocked as Karen literally came out swinging. Dean and Donnie watched from the comfort of the Explorer, which Dean had started to drive away from the group of rage-filled people that had initially attacked but now focused their attention on the trio of females outside that seemed to be holding their own. Donnie then had a brief flash of brilliance. “You have your iPod handy?” he asked Dean.
Dean just looked at Donnie. “Do Jews carry around little pouches of gold which is henceforth known as ‘Jew Gold’?”
Donnie looked confused again. “Wait, what? I don’t know, maybe, what was the question again?” he rambled on.
Dean reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a thin black iPod. “Of course, and for the record, most Jews would kick you in the balls if you ask for their gold.” He said as Donnie began scanning through the digital music library.
“You’re getting more and more like Kevin everyday, you realize.” Donnie said. “Aha! See, you and your little group aren’t the only ones who know their zombie shit!” he said excitedly after finding a particular song, which he promptly showed Dean.
“Nice call.” Dean said approvingly. “Are you sure it’s going to work?”
“There is only one way to find out for sure. You have your adapter with you?” Donnie asked as Dean pointed to the docking station adaptor that was hooked through the cigarette lighter holder under the stereo. Donnie placed the iPod into the slot and told Dean to roll down the windows and let the sound blast.
While the men were planning something cunning, Ariel, Penny, and Karen were fighting on a united front. While Penny was taking down the rage army like a precision sniper, Ariel was all out guns a blazing with Karen slicing and dicing the remains. Karen briefly turned when she noticed Dean had rolled the windows down and music began to start playing.
“What the fuck is that?” Ariel asked while she was in the middle of reloading.
“Sounds like…” Penny started to talk, paused and realized what song was playing. “Is that ‘Thriller’?”
“Sure sounds like it.” Karen said, wiping the sweat off her brow and noticed something about the attacking group of people.
“What are they doing now?” asked Penny, who reloaded her assault riffle and was ready to another round.
“They appear to be… dancing?!” Karen said with a look of shock on her face.
“Dancing?! Why?” asked Ariel.
“I don’t know. I’m sure if Kevin was here he’d say something like ‘Four in seven zombies can’t resist doing the Thriller dance when said song is played’ or some other garbled stat.” Karen said.
“I suggest we retreat and move on.” Penny suggested. “While they seem obsessed with dancing, now is the time to move on.”
Both Karen and Ariel showed an unusual sign of agreement in unison as they moved quickly back into the Explorer. “So whose idea was that?” Karen asked.
“Surprisingly it was Donnie who came up with this one.” Dean replied.
“Wonderful. So he isn’t totally useless after all.” Ariel quipped.
“Gee, thanks for the support.” Donnie said sarcastically.
“Any idea on how we get out of here because I think they’re going to follow us or be super pissed when the music stops?” asked Dean.
“Don’t worry, I too have a plan.” Donnie said as he went to the back and dug out a portable radio and an iPod docking station. He then stepped outside and set the radio down. He then put the music on pause, which caused the monster mob to stop dancing and moving closer to the Explorer.
“Get it back on quickly!” insisted Dean. Donnie fumbled a bit with the iPod, but got the music going again as the mob began to dance again.
“Go!” shouted Donnie as Dean turned the ignition and sped out of there.
“What’s going to happen when the song is over?” asked Ariel.
“By that time, we’ll be long gone and they can kill each other for all I care.” Dean said matter-of-factly.
“Now where do we go to?” Karen asked.
“I don’t know,” said Dean. “All I know is that nothing here is making any sense. I only hope Kevin is having better luck getting to the bottom of things.
Heading back into Edmonton was stirring up different types of emotions in everyone. For both Penny and Karen, it was their hometown. They both grew up there and had family and friends that were still there. Both of them kept in touch with their respective relations there, and both wondered what their fates were after the attack on the capital region. Dean had mixed emotions about Edmonton, more so because his years of living there were a mixed bag of dizzying highs and near fatal lows. It almost felt like a type of redemption for Dean, maybe he could make up for his squandered opportunities and his family would finally be proud of an accomplishment he did. Not that they were never proud of Dean, it was just between flunking out of university and feeling lost until he met Kevin really strained things between Dean and his family – especially his father. Ariel tried to keep her memories buried deep, as she had done a lot of things in Edmonton she was never proud of. The Ariel that sat in the back seat of a green Explorer was a different girl from her Edmonton years living on the street. Donnie was the only one with no real emotional attachment to the city, other than it being the closest thing to civilization in what he viewed was the uncivilized north.
“Why didn’t Sarah ever take that job in Calgary?” Donnie muttered to himself. Being from southern Alberta, Donnie felt that was the place to be. Especially now, if Calgary wasn’t targeted, he and his wife and child wouldn’t have to worry about stuff like cybernetic vines and sausage-craving zombies.
“What was he thinking, taking both my wife AND daughter?!” moaned Donnie, who was just having a hard time being separated from his family who were now part of Kevin’s team.
“I don’t know either,” replied Dean. “All I can think about is that Kev must have a plan if he took your wife and daughter. Well, more so your wife…”
“What does that mean exactly?” asked Donnie annoyingly.
“Well, maybe he needs her to explain some of the sciency stuff he doesn’t know about?” suggested Karen.
“That would probably be a task in itself, so I see the point sort of.” Donnie said as he rolled his eyes.
“That and so far Kevin’s been right about a lot of things.” Dean said in his absent friend’s defense.
“You do realize I’m your boss still, right?” said Donnie to Dean.
“Well, I assume between the whole province under martial law and Joanne getting assimilated by the vine hive, our jobs are the least of our worries right about now.” Dean replied back.
Whyte Avenue. Southside Edmonton’s premier club and niche shopping section would normally be abuzz with people and activity, but such was not the case as Dean drove down and was able to find a parking spot along the notable street. Penny was the first to step out - Geiger counter in hand to ensure the area was not overly radioactive outside.
“That’s odd,” Penny commented. “I’m getting no reading whatsoever.”
“Are you sure it’s working properly?” asked Karen.
“All equipment was checked before we were assigned them.” Penny replied.
“Didn’t you say that maybe Edmonton was never hit by a nuclear warhead?” Donnie asked.
“I said I didn’t know if it was or not. Right now it looks it no, but where is everybody then?” Penny said.
Suddenly, a sound was heard nearby. It sounded like an empty can being briefly kicked and rolling across the pavement. Ariel immediately got her trusty shotgun ready while everyone else stood back as a pale looking girl, probably in her late teens came out from an alleyway.
“She looks rather odd.” Donnie commented.
“Nahh, she’s probably a local girl. Huh, the years may get on, but there’s always a few Goth girls always hanging around here.” Karen said with Donnie nodding in agreement. However, the young girl looked not too impressed with their presence.
“What is that on her face?” Karen asked pointing at some kind of black substance dripping from her eyes. “Can’t be mascara running, right?”
Penny coldly replied. “I wouldn’t know, make up is for false presentations and whores.” Then a few more people emerged from the same spot where the young lady came from, all with the same looking black goop around their eyes.
“Either there was a Slipknot concert during the attack or these people are…” Dean could not continue on with his sentence as the small group of pale faced interlopers quickly began running towards him and his group.
“Shit! Fire at will! Show no fucking mercy!” screamed Ariel who began firing at will at the pack of people, who seemed to be foaming at the mouth and faces showing emotions of rage and anger. Penny quickly followed suit when she was nearly taken down from behind from another rage-filled black-oozed attacker. Dean, Karen, and Donnie, who all were foolishly unarmed, sneaked back into the Explorer.
“I’m rather content letting the two gun-crazed girls slug it out with them to be quite honest” Donnie confessed.
Karen, feeling like maybe now was the time to shed away her pacifist ways, jumped into the back and feverishly began rooting around looking for something.
“What are you looking for, Kare Bear?” Dean asked.
“Seeing if I was smart enough to pack… YES!” Karen exclaimed with delight as she pulled out a replica samurai sword.
“Where the fuck did you get that from?!” asked a shocked Donnie.
“Kevin got it for me for last Halloween when I went as The Bride from ‘Kill Bill’” Karen replied. “You remember that night, don’t you Dean?”
Dean smiled to himself, knowing that after the party they went to that night was one of the more passionate moments in his life. However, he would have to hold off on totally reminiscing about that night when about five or six of the rage-filled people began pounding and scratching at the exterior of his vehicle. Karen surprised everyone inside when she rolled down the window and rather messily decapitated one of the new threatening monsters.
“Gunfire isn’t going to simply win this one.” Karen proclaimed. “I’m stepping out!” she said as she exited the Exploring, swinging her sword.
“You sure you know what you’re doing?” Dean said rather concerned about the safety of his girlfriend.
“Trust me, I read the ‘Zombie Survival Guide’! It’s one of my five!” she replied after chopping off another head.
Donnie looked confused as usual. “One of her five what?”
Dean just looked at him. “Five books to bring along for the end of the world!” he replied.
Both Ariel and Penny looked shocked as Karen literally came out swinging. Dean and Donnie watched from the comfort of the Explorer, which Dean had started to drive away from the group of rage-filled people that had initially attacked but now focused their attention on the trio of females outside that seemed to be holding their own. Donnie then had a brief flash of brilliance. “You have your iPod handy?” he asked Dean.
Dean just looked at Donnie. “Do Jews carry around little pouches of gold which is henceforth known as ‘Jew Gold’?”
Donnie looked confused again. “Wait, what? I don’t know, maybe, what was the question again?” he rambled on.
Dean reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a thin black iPod. “Of course, and for the record, most Jews would kick you in the balls if you ask for their gold.” He said as Donnie began scanning through the digital music library.
“You’re getting more and more like Kevin everyday, you realize.” Donnie said. “Aha! See, you and your little group aren’t the only ones who know their zombie shit!” he said excitedly after finding a particular song, which he promptly showed Dean.
“Nice call.” Dean said approvingly. “Are you sure it’s going to work?”
“There is only one way to find out for sure. You have your adapter with you?” Donnie asked as Dean pointed to the docking station adaptor that was hooked through the cigarette lighter holder under the stereo. Donnie placed the iPod into the slot and told Dean to roll down the windows and let the sound blast.
While the men were planning something cunning, Ariel, Penny, and Karen were fighting on a united front. While Penny was taking down the rage army like a precision sniper, Ariel was all out guns a blazing with Karen slicing and dicing the remains. Karen briefly turned when she noticed Dean had rolled the windows down and music began to start playing.
“What the fuck is that?” Ariel asked while she was in the middle of reloading.
“Sounds like…” Penny started to talk, paused and realized what song was playing. “Is that ‘Thriller’?”
“Sure sounds like it.” Karen said, wiping the sweat off her brow and noticed something about the attacking group of people.
“What are they doing now?” asked Penny, who reloaded her assault riffle and was ready to another round.
“They appear to be… dancing?!” Karen said with a look of shock on her face.
“Dancing?! Why?” asked Ariel.
“I don’t know. I’m sure if Kevin was here he’d say something like ‘Four in seven zombies can’t resist doing the Thriller dance when said song is played’ or some other garbled stat.” Karen said.
“I suggest we retreat and move on.” Penny suggested. “While they seem obsessed with dancing, now is the time to move on.”
Both Karen and Ariel showed an unusual sign of agreement in unison as they moved quickly back into the Explorer. “So whose idea was that?” Karen asked.
“Surprisingly it was Donnie who came up with this one.” Dean replied.
“Wonderful. So he isn’t totally useless after all.” Ariel quipped.
“Gee, thanks for the support.” Donnie said sarcastically.
“Any idea on how we get out of here because I think they’re going to follow us or be super pissed when the music stops?” asked Dean.
“Don’t worry, I too have a plan.” Donnie said as he went to the back and dug out a portable radio and an iPod docking station. He then stepped outside and set the radio down. He then put the music on pause, which caused the monster mob to stop dancing and moving closer to the Explorer.
“Get it back on quickly!” insisted Dean. Donnie fumbled a bit with the iPod, but got the music going again as the mob began to dance again.
“Go!” shouted Donnie as Dean turned the ignition and sped out of there.
“What’s going to happen when the song is over?” asked Ariel.
“By that time, we’ll be long gone and they can kill each other for all I care.” Dean said matter-of-factly.
“Now where do we go to?” Karen asked.
“I don’t know,” said Dean. “All I know is that nothing here is making any sense. I only hope Kevin is having better luck getting to the bottom of things.
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