CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: NO MAN’S LAND. OR, IN WHICH THINGS GET A LITTLE MORE SERIOUS AFTER THE MISADVENTURES IN THE LAST CHAPTER.
“Who remembers when it all began/Out here in no man's land/Before they passed the master plan/Out here in no man's land/Low supply and high demand/Here in no man's land” - Billy Joel, “No Man’s Land”
“Who remembers when it all began/Out here in no man's land/Before they passed the master plan/Out here in no man's land/Low supply and high demand/Here in no man's land” - Billy Joel, “No Man’s Land”
“… And that my apprentice is why you should never get involved with furries.” Kevin Brody was telling Ryan Jeffries as the two of them walked alongside former members of Munchie’s cockroach cult.
“I still don’t know how you came across that photo if you never got involved with anyone in the furry community.” Ryan asked Kevin.
“That is the pros and cons of the internets my apprentice. Private fetishes can easily become public knowledge with the right connections.”
“You weren’t cyber-stalking him, were you?”
“Please, I am so beyond that. I have minions who do the cyber stalking for me and report such indiscretions by my enemies.”
“Ah, okay. So, that makes you what exactly?” Ryan asked.
“That makes a man who likes to minimize the paper trail in order to keep my friends close and my enemies closer.” Kevin replied.
“That’s from ‘The Godfather’, right?” asked Ryan.
“Indeed it is. Maybe there is hope for you after all, temp.” Kevin said with a smile on his face. “But if I start quoting from Sun Tzu’s ‘Art of War’…”
“… I think I would be lost to be honest” said Ryan with a puzzled looked. “Plus what’s a ‘Doctor Who’ anyways.”
Kevin stopped dead in his tracks and gave Ryan a cold stare and told him “Mention that name again, and I’ll see to it you’re written out of this story,” remembering the deal he made with the omniscient voice of this narrative. Kevin went on to elaborate to Ryan “If we all live through this, I shall tell you” to which Ryan nodded.
“Will you two nerds quit nerding it up over there.” Sarah barked from the back, where she and her daughter were flanked by Ric Flair and Keith Richards. “And while we’re at it, where are we going anyways?” she asked.
One of the former cockroach disciples heard the question coming from the back and yelled back. “We’re taking you as far as No Man’s Land, and that is as far as we are willing to go.”
“You’re not going to take us to some giant cockroach pit and have us sacrificed for killing yer emissary aren’t ya?” a somewhat skittish Keith Richards asked.
“Negative. Besides between finding out our ‘messiah’ was a fucking furry and his other bizarre decrees, we’re glad someone had the balls to ice him!” said the one former disciple of a faith more than likely would have been called “Cockroachism”.
“So, if you guys aren’t willing to go into this No Man’s Land, why are you sending us in there then?” asked Sarah.
“Well, to be honest we did try to go further than the west end here, but we couldn’t get too far as the armed forces pretty much chased us away from anywhere close to the downtown core” another former disciple mentioned.
“So downtown Edmonton has been wiped out?” asked Kevin. “Makes sense since we haven’t seen the standard office towers that adorn the skyline.”
“We don’t know for sure. We got as far as 124th Street before they fired on us.”
“Well, that’s great.” Sarah said rolling her eyes. “Suddenly being sacrificed to cockroaches seems like the lesser of two evils.”
“Well, maybe they’ve eased up on their grip on what’s left of the city” another disciple theorized.
“I sure hope so. Because if we try to get into a firefight with an armed force that has been basically given carte blanche in its operating procedures, we’re royally fucked!” proclaimed Kevin.
The moving entourage suddenly halted. “This is it. The line we crossed before being forced back onto the west side here” said one of the disciples. “Good luck, may god have mercy on you all.”
Sarah looked puzzled “You’re leaving us?” she asked.
“Well, you guys are at least armed. We’re peaceniks for most part and a bunch of chickens too. Why do you think we were willing to follow Munchie?” the same disciple asked.
The outskirt of Jasper Avenue was the gateway to the downtown core of Edmonton. It served also as a border of two different worlds that seemed to best describe Alberta’s capital after the attack. On the west side where Kevin, Ryan, Sarah, Hailey, Keith Richards, and Ric Flair came from was still all right for most parts. However since taking the step over the line that the cockroach worshippers were afraid to cross show a different Edmonton - a side that had finally shown devastation and destruction from the missile strike. As Kevin took out the Geiger counter to determine how radioactive the area was, another negative reading came out. Frustrated by this outcome, Kevin threw the piece of equipment down in anger. “This is too much here!” he screamed. “All of this seems too impossible!”
“Maybe that Penny chick was right. Maybe there were no nuclear warheads at all.” Ryan inferred.
“Maybe yes, maybe no,” Kevin said while holding the sides of his head as if he was going to pull his hair out in frustration. “But look around you! Downtown Edmonton no longer exists! Edmonton Center? Gone! The Winspear and Citadel Theatre? Probably toast too! Chez Pierre’s? Buh-bye Edmonton’s oldest strip club! Yes conventional weapons can cause this much destruction, but why are there giant cockroaches at West Ed Mall?! Explain that…” Kevin’s rant was interrupted by a feeling of a vibration in his coat pocket. He then pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open. He read what appeared to be a text message. He flipped his phone closed and continued on. “Now I find out from Dean that they got zombies doing the ‘Thriller’ dance on Whyte and they’re having within-their-lifetime flashbacks on the University campus and I just want to know…”
A flash of light occurred. Kevin Brody looked around and saw nothing but a bright white light.
“So, am I going to get some answers here now or what?” he demanded.
“This corporeal being is quite impatient” said The Beardo, sitting comfortably in the den of his Shandro farmyard.
Joanne Carlson, pre-vine takeover appeared at the Vegreville Movie Gallery. “He insists on answers that he is not ready to understand.”
“Understand what?” Kevin yelled at her. “Nothing makes sense here!”
Karen Anderson, in her paramedic’s uniform, clutching the lifeless body of her dead sister. “We cannot change our course midway through the game now.”
“Is this what this to you?” Kevin asked. “Is this just a game?”
Dean Williams, sitting in his Vegreville apartment, tells Kevin. “He wants to know the outcome of the game before seeing it play before his eyes?”
Julia Katz, infused with the vine nanotechnology, protested “It is not permissible!”
“Look, to hell with your rules!” Kevin shouted back “People have lost lives because of your little game here!”
Lindsay Lohan came from behind Kevin and whispered in his ears. “We are all merely pawns in this game. Our fates were sealed long before events went into play.”
“So, if nothing can be changed, why am I here then? Who are you? Why did you bring me here? I demand to know why I AM HERE.” Kevin said.
Julia Katz, sitting behind a desk at the Alberta Research Council looked at Kevin and said to him “Such impatience. Maybe he is not the one.”
The Bellums, holding their newborn daughter in the maternity ward looked at Kevin as well. Sarah said “He still may be the key.” Donnie then nodded and countered with “Or he knows the key.”
“The key to what exactly?” Kevin asked the Bellums.
“Should he know?” asked The Beardo.
Ariel stood atop of a pile of freshly shot undead bodies on Whyte Avenue. “If he knows the outcome of the game may change.”
Vine-controlled Joanne Carlson appeared in front of a ruined downtown Edmonton business. “Any changes to the outcome are not permitted!” she protested.
“You all keep talking about this ‘game’ and how the outcome cannot be changed. I’m not asking for the outcome to be changed. Linear time cannot be changed, I know that! History cannot be rewritten. All I want to know is what has happened here and how am I going to make sure my friends make it out of this alright!” Kevin again said in annoyance.
“He is right.” Lohan said.
“The initial part of the game cannot be changed.” Karen said, showing the stains of blood on her hands to Kevin.
“But can he change the outcome?” Joanne Carlson asked.
“He may be part of a series of events that will change the outcome.” The Beardo said.
“But I thought you said the outcome was unable to change?” asked Kevin.
Dean looked at Kevin. “How we got here cannot be reversed.”
Ryan Jeffries showed up “But what could happen next is in the key holder’s hands.”
Julia Katz protested. “The outcome must be maintained!”
“No, you are wrong.” Kevin told Julia. “Whatever my next set of actions could really change this little game you have going on.”
“We are merely observers of the game” said Keith Richards.
“The moves made are entirely up to you” said Ric Flair.
“Only one outcome is for certain,” Karen said, wiping blood onto the side of Kevin’s face. “A sacrifice is needed to ensure the game continues on.”
Kevin looked confused. “Sacrifice? What kind of…”
“… Sacrifice?” Kevin said in mid-sentence as he returned back to the reality with everyone looking at him.
“What happened there?” asked Ryan.
“I don’t know.” Kevin said. “If I knew…” He then paused and looked around, noticing a sound emanating in the surrounding area. “Anyone else hear that?” he asked with everyone nodding their heads in agreement. As the noise grew closer, they noticed about four armored troop transports driving into the area. They stopped and from one of them, close to twenty men and women in black combat gear, armed to the teeth emerged. They quickly drew their guns on Kevin’s group Another transport opened up, this time two men in the same garb came out flanking what was surely a ghost to Kevin and Sarah.
It was that of associate director Julia Katz
“It can’t be!” Kevin said. “I made that bitch’s head explode!”
“Doctor Bellum?” Julia asked while looking at Sarah. “You and your daughter are to be relocated to our south facilities immediately.
God, if you do really exist, please don’t let Sarah mention her milquetoast husband because that’s gonna get Dean most likely killed, Kevin thought to himself.
“What about my husband?” Sarah asked.
Dear God, you fucking suck ass! Kevin thought again.
Julia talked to one of the men in black “Locate Mister Bellum and relocate him to the south side facilities as well. Anyone else with him, take them immediately to Section 31.”
“And what about the rest of us, eh?” asked Ryan nervously.
Julia rolled her eyes. “Take the scruffy guy and the handsome geek to Section 31 as well.”
“Now just a minute here, what if we don’t want to go with your little goons here?” Kevin asked. “And again, didn’t I kill you in Vegreville?”
“Vegreville?” Julia looked confused. “Oh, that unfortunate incident, I told them the prototypes weren’t ready yet.”
One of the soldiers looked at Kevin. “I think it would be beneficial to your health if you came now!” he ordered Kevin. Not one to take kindly to being ordered, Kevin did take a swing at the soldier, only to be tasered from behind by another soldier. Ryan too was subdued via a taser shot.
“Oi! We ain’t goin’ down with a fight you bloody wankers!” Keith Richards as he and Flair drew out a pair of sub-machine guns and began to open fire upon the black-clad troops. However, that seemed to be a fatal error on their part as the other two transporters quickly opened up as more troops entered the area, firing at will at the two legends. While Sarah did her best to shield her three-year old daughter from what was clearly a mismatch, she herself could not avoid watching what was basically an execution. It seemed like an empty gesture, but maybe Richards and Flair thought they were able to save the day once before, but not this time.
Jasper Avenue would be the place where Ric Flair and Keith Richards stood for the last time. And valiantly they did stand, even though it seemed futile.
“I still don’t know how you came across that photo if you never got involved with anyone in the furry community.” Ryan asked Kevin.
“That is the pros and cons of the internets my apprentice. Private fetishes can easily become public knowledge with the right connections.”
“You weren’t cyber-stalking him, were you?”
“Please, I am so beyond that. I have minions who do the cyber stalking for me and report such indiscretions by my enemies.”
“Ah, okay. So, that makes you what exactly?” Ryan asked.
“That makes a man who likes to minimize the paper trail in order to keep my friends close and my enemies closer.” Kevin replied.
“That’s from ‘The Godfather’, right?” asked Ryan.
“Indeed it is. Maybe there is hope for you after all, temp.” Kevin said with a smile on his face. “But if I start quoting from Sun Tzu’s ‘Art of War’…”
“… I think I would be lost to be honest” said Ryan with a puzzled looked. “Plus what’s a ‘Doctor Who’ anyways.”
Kevin stopped dead in his tracks and gave Ryan a cold stare and told him “Mention that name again, and I’ll see to it you’re written out of this story,” remembering the deal he made with the omniscient voice of this narrative. Kevin went on to elaborate to Ryan “If we all live through this, I shall tell you” to which Ryan nodded.
“Will you two nerds quit nerding it up over there.” Sarah barked from the back, where she and her daughter were flanked by Ric Flair and Keith Richards. “And while we’re at it, where are we going anyways?” she asked.
One of the former cockroach disciples heard the question coming from the back and yelled back. “We’re taking you as far as No Man’s Land, and that is as far as we are willing to go.”
“You’re not going to take us to some giant cockroach pit and have us sacrificed for killing yer emissary aren’t ya?” a somewhat skittish Keith Richards asked.
“Negative. Besides between finding out our ‘messiah’ was a fucking furry and his other bizarre decrees, we’re glad someone had the balls to ice him!” said the one former disciple of a faith more than likely would have been called “Cockroachism”.
“So, if you guys aren’t willing to go into this No Man’s Land, why are you sending us in there then?” asked Sarah.
“Well, to be honest we did try to go further than the west end here, but we couldn’t get too far as the armed forces pretty much chased us away from anywhere close to the downtown core” another former disciple mentioned.
“So downtown Edmonton has been wiped out?” asked Kevin. “Makes sense since we haven’t seen the standard office towers that adorn the skyline.”
“We don’t know for sure. We got as far as 124th Street before they fired on us.”
“Well, that’s great.” Sarah said rolling her eyes. “Suddenly being sacrificed to cockroaches seems like the lesser of two evils.”
“Well, maybe they’ve eased up on their grip on what’s left of the city” another disciple theorized.
“I sure hope so. Because if we try to get into a firefight with an armed force that has been basically given carte blanche in its operating procedures, we’re royally fucked!” proclaimed Kevin.
The moving entourage suddenly halted. “This is it. The line we crossed before being forced back onto the west side here” said one of the disciples. “Good luck, may god have mercy on you all.”
Sarah looked puzzled “You’re leaving us?” she asked.
“Well, you guys are at least armed. We’re peaceniks for most part and a bunch of chickens too. Why do you think we were willing to follow Munchie?” the same disciple asked.
The outskirt of Jasper Avenue was the gateway to the downtown core of Edmonton. It served also as a border of two different worlds that seemed to best describe Alberta’s capital after the attack. On the west side where Kevin, Ryan, Sarah, Hailey, Keith Richards, and Ric Flair came from was still all right for most parts. However since taking the step over the line that the cockroach worshippers were afraid to cross show a different Edmonton - a side that had finally shown devastation and destruction from the missile strike. As Kevin took out the Geiger counter to determine how radioactive the area was, another negative reading came out. Frustrated by this outcome, Kevin threw the piece of equipment down in anger. “This is too much here!” he screamed. “All of this seems too impossible!”
“Maybe that Penny chick was right. Maybe there were no nuclear warheads at all.” Ryan inferred.
“Maybe yes, maybe no,” Kevin said while holding the sides of his head as if he was going to pull his hair out in frustration. “But look around you! Downtown Edmonton no longer exists! Edmonton Center? Gone! The Winspear and Citadel Theatre? Probably toast too! Chez Pierre’s? Buh-bye Edmonton’s oldest strip club! Yes conventional weapons can cause this much destruction, but why are there giant cockroaches at West Ed Mall?! Explain that…” Kevin’s rant was interrupted by a feeling of a vibration in his coat pocket. He then pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open. He read what appeared to be a text message. He flipped his phone closed and continued on. “Now I find out from Dean that they got zombies doing the ‘Thriller’ dance on Whyte and they’re having within-their-lifetime flashbacks on the University campus and I just want to know…”
A flash of light occurred. Kevin Brody looked around and saw nothing but a bright white light.
“So, am I going to get some answers here now or what?” he demanded.
“This corporeal being is quite impatient” said The Beardo, sitting comfortably in the den of his Shandro farmyard.
Joanne Carlson, pre-vine takeover appeared at the Vegreville Movie Gallery. “He insists on answers that he is not ready to understand.”
“Understand what?” Kevin yelled at her. “Nothing makes sense here!”
Karen Anderson, in her paramedic’s uniform, clutching the lifeless body of her dead sister. “We cannot change our course midway through the game now.”
“Is this what this to you?” Kevin asked. “Is this just a game?”
Dean Williams, sitting in his Vegreville apartment, tells Kevin. “He wants to know the outcome of the game before seeing it play before his eyes?”
Julia Katz, infused with the vine nanotechnology, protested “It is not permissible!”
“Look, to hell with your rules!” Kevin shouted back “People have lost lives because of your little game here!”
Lindsay Lohan came from behind Kevin and whispered in his ears. “We are all merely pawns in this game. Our fates were sealed long before events went into play.”
“So, if nothing can be changed, why am I here then? Who are you? Why did you bring me here? I demand to know why I AM HERE.” Kevin said.
Julia Katz, sitting behind a desk at the Alberta Research Council looked at Kevin and said to him “Such impatience. Maybe he is not the one.”
The Bellums, holding their newborn daughter in the maternity ward looked at Kevin as well. Sarah said “He still may be the key.” Donnie then nodded and countered with “Or he knows the key.”
“The key to what exactly?” Kevin asked the Bellums.
“Should he know?” asked The Beardo.
Ariel stood atop of a pile of freshly shot undead bodies on Whyte Avenue. “If he knows the outcome of the game may change.”
Vine-controlled Joanne Carlson appeared in front of a ruined downtown Edmonton business. “Any changes to the outcome are not permitted!” she protested.
“You all keep talking about this ‘game’ and how the outcome cannot be changed. I’m not asking for the outcome to be changed. Linear time cannot be changed, I know that! History cannot be rewritten. All I want to know is what has happened here and how am I going to make sure my friends make it out of this alright!” Kevin again said in annoyance.
“He is right.” Lohan said.
“The initial part of the game cannot be changed.” Karen said, showing the stains of blood on her hands to Kevin.
“But can he change the outcome?” Joanne Carlson asked.
“He may be part of a series of events that will change the outcome.” The Beardo said.
“But I thought you said the outcome was unable to change?” asked Kevin.
Dean looked at Kevin. “How we got here cannot be reversed.”
Ryan Jeffries showed up “But what could happen next is in the key holder’s hands.”
Julia Katz protested. “The outcome must be maintained!”
“No, you are wrong.” Kevin told Julia. “Whatever my next set of actions could really change this little game you have going on.”
“We are merely observers of the game” said Keith Richards.
“The moves made are entirely up to you” said Ric Flair.
“Only one outcome is for certain,” Karen said, wiping blood onto the side of Kevin’s face. “A sacrifice is needed to ensure the game continues on.”
Kevin looked confused. “Sacrifice? What kind of…”
“… Sacrifice?” Kevin said in mid-sentence as he returned back to the reality with everyone looking at him.
“What happened there?” asked Ryan.
“I don’t know.” Kevin said. “If I knew…” He then paused and looked around, noticing a sound emanating in the surrounding area. “Anyone else hear that?” he asked with everyone nodding their heads in agreement. As the noise grew closer, they noticed about four armored troop transports driving into the area. They stopped and from one of them, close to twenty men and women in black combat gear, armed to the teeth emerged. They quickly drew their guns on Kevin’s group Another transport opened up, this time two men in the same garb came out flanking what was surely a ghost to Kevin and Sarah.
It was that of associate director Julia Katz
“It can’t be!” Kevin said. “I made that bitch’s head explode!”
“Doctor Bellum?” Julia asked while looking at Sarah. “You and your daughter are to be relocated to our south facilities immediately.
God, if you do really exist, please don’t let Sarah mention her milquetoast husband because that’s gonna get Dean most likely killed, Kevin thought to himself.
“What about my husband?” Sarah asked.
Dear God, you fucking suck ass! Kevin thought again.
Julia talked to one of the men in black “Locate Mister Bellum and relocate him to the south side facilities as well. Anyone else with him, take them immediately to Section 31.”
“And what about the rest of us, eh?” asked Ryan nervously.
Julia rolled her eyes. “Take the scruffy guy and the handsome geek to Section 31 as well.”
“Now just a minute here, what if we don’t want to go with your little goons here?” Kevin asked. “And again, didn’t I kill you in Vegreville?”
“Vegreville?” Julia looked confused. “Oh, that unfortunate incident, I told them the prototypes weren’t ready yet.”
One of the soldiers looked at Kevin. “I think it would be beneficial to your health if you came now!” he ordered Kevin. Not one to take kindly to being ordered, Kevin did take a swing at the soldier, only to be tasered from behind by another soldier. Ryan too was subdued via a taser shot.
“Oi! We ain’t goin’ down with a fight you bloody wankers!” Keith Richards as he and Flair drew out a pair of sub-machine guns and began to open fire upon the black-clad troops. However, that seemed to be a fatal error on their part as the other two transporters quickly opened up as more troops entered the area, firing at will at the two legends. While Sarah did her best to shield her three-year old daughter from what was clearly a mismatch, she herself could not avoid watching what was basically an execution. It seemed like an empty gesture, but maybe Richards and Flair thought they were able to save the day once before, but not this time.
Jasper Avenue would be the place where Ric Flair and Keith Richards stood for the last time. And valiantly they did stand, even though it seemed futile.
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