Apocalyse Wow! 1! - Epilogue

Any real names, non-original content, or likenesses of celebrities are used in a fictitious and parodic manner.

One Year Later

“Yes, I know revenue is down, but I would imagine being in a rebuilding process would give us some leeway here.” Dean Williams, the new manager of the Vegreville Movie Gallery said during a call with Donnie Bellum, the new district manager of 4192.
“Hey, I tried my best and I was able to get this whole district off the new regional manager’s shit list, so cut me a little slack here, okay?” Donnie told Dean.
“I know, but maybe once people realize that Vegreville isn’t run by a bunch of plants that wish to rule the world then business will pick up.”
“Maybe so but as far as I know we all have six months to get revenue up or we’re all going to get it.”
“I know. Look, Ryan is coming in soon and I got him working with a new girl I hired so I got to explain some things to them that talked about during the conference call.”
“Yeah, about that - next time don’t pull that ‘That’s what she said’ crap during the calls. It’s hard for me to keep composure…”
“That’s what she said” Dean said with a smirk on his face.
Donnie sighed on the phone and said “God, and here I thought a promotion would change you.”
“It has somewhat.” Dean said. “But I should go here. Bye,” Dean said as he hung up the phone. A young woman with short brown hair walked into the store after Dean got off the phone. She identified herself as Jenna Martin, the first successful hire Dean had made since taking over as store manager.
“Well, Jenna, you’ll be working alongside Ryan tonight,” said Dean as he noticed his wife Karen drive up into the parking lot and walked into the store as well.
“Hey honey,” she said to Dean. “Are you just about done here?”
“Yeah, I’m just waiting on Ryan so I can tell him some stuff from the conference call and make sure he doesn’t run Jenna off.” Dean told Karen.
Ryan Jeffries then came into the store, quickly followed by Kevin. The two of them were in the middle of a conversation.
“… I still say you’re nuts!” Ryan said to Kevin.
“Look, you’re going into the air force in about a month’s time right? All I want from you is to get me some photo evidence that our lovely military is using alien designed aircraft and I’ll reward you with this.” Kevin said as he pulled out a slightly worn pocket phone book.
“What is that, exactly?” asked Ryan.
“My old contacts list of every woman I have ever been with, except the weirdos, unless necrophilia is your thing” Kevin said and then noticed a disgusted face from Jenna, “Oh, hi new temp!” he said to her?
Jenna looked confused. “What is his deal?” she asked.
Ryan shrugged his shoulders and said to Jenna “Eh, it’s just Kevin. He’s a bit of an ass, but he’ll be able to keep the store afloat in his porn rentals.”
“Okay, one – this ‘ass’ saved all of your lives here! And two, Ariel has kind of convinced that that pornographic films are degrading and that the women involved in their production are slowly dead on the inside.” Kevin stated.
“Geez, matrimonial life has changed you. It kind of scares me” said Dean.
“Please, I’m not ‘married’ like the two of you. Ariel agreed a piece of paper that says something means nothing as long as there is a common interest shared by couple.” Kevin defended himself.
“Well there is your three month-old daughter, so you’re in it for the long run, papa.” Karen said smiling.
“See? DNA is the ultimate common interest. It’s a fact.” Kevin said.
After Dean was done explaining things to Ryan, he interjected himself into the conversation. “Well, what else is keeping you within that relationship?”
Kevin smiled and said “We also like passionate, raw, and sweaty sex.”
“Yeah, that was something I didn’t need to hear about!” Jenna said.
“Trust me you’ll hear worse from him.” Dean said.
“Indeed young temp, indeed.” Kevin said to Jenna.
“Get used to that too until a new person comes along” said Ryan.
“And speaking of which, when are the two of you going to start contributing to repopulating our little town?” Kevin asked both Dean and Karen.
“Well, we’re hoping really soon, right Kare Bear?” Dean asked his wife.
“Sooner than you think,” Karen said. “Just got back from the doctor’s office and the home test were indeed accurate.”
Dean’s face beamed with delight as he and Karen hugged and kissed each other in celebration of the great news.
“Ugh, see this is why public displays of affection need to be outlawed” said Kevin.
“Oh, by the way, the Wainwright manager challenged me to a curling game” Dean said. “Care to assist us in pwning their asses?” he asked Kevin.
“Only if Ariel is allowed on the team,” said Kevin.
“And only if she tones it down and not attack the opposing team” insisted Karen.
“Look it was just that one time and that skip was asking for it!” Kevin protested.
“And that is why we were banned from the local curling club…” Dean said as he, Karen, and Kevin all walked out together. Jenna looked at the three of them and asked Ryan “Are they that nuts all the time?”
“Not all the time,” Ryan answered back. “But yeah, the more things change, the more they stay the same.”
“I guess that’s the price for saving the world, huh?” Jenna followed up with that question.
“Indeed” said Ryan. “Indeed it is. But you would have to be a little bit crazy to fully understand what we all went through within the last year.”
“I heard the stories. Did they really meet David Tennant? I think he’s dreamy!”
Ryan just shook his head and said “I don’t know. They said there were some things that they would never talk about, and I think that may have been one of them. But don’t mention that to Kevin, he’ll go on and on about something that is too much for anyone can handle.”
“Well like you said,” Jenna smiled and said “The more things change…”