Five Better People To Be Prime Minister of Canada

So, since the Liberals and the NDP are intent on ignoring the will of the people who didn't want them in the government position, might as well declare a free-for-all race for the Prime Minister's office like in that movie Rat Race. Without further ado, here it is:

A MOMENTARY LAPSE OF REASON'S FIVE BETTER CHOICES FOR PRIME MINISTER OF CANADA!

in no particular order:

1. George Washington - Freedom fighter/freak of nature

Pros: Kills for fun, fucks the shit out of bears, has like 30 goddamn dicks, makes love like an eagle falling from the sky, will eat opponent's brains.
Cons: American, won't save British children, invented cocaine, height is undetermined, made of radiation.

2. John Bradshaw Leyfield - fake fighter/legit businessman

Pros: Self-made millionaire, hates illegal immigrants, more than likely would kick opponents' asses.
Cons: Too conservative, would make Stephen Harper look like Mister Rogers, hates midgets, American.

3. Batman - pretty self explanatory there.

Pros: He's the goddamn Batman! What more do you want?
Cons: Bad dancer, American, not real, may have secret drug problem.

4. Jason Saxon - Apocalypse Wow! 2! villian.












Pros: Young, charismatic, able to unify a country in a crisis, outsources military to alien shock troops, resourceful.
Cons: True intentions not fully known, treads the line between everyday villainy and cartoonish supervillainy, country-unifying skills also suspect.

5. Me! - Aspiring writer/blogger/shit-disturbing monkey boy!

Pros: Canadian, not totally insane, has political aspirations, might be able to speak to the common man, self-described "poor man's Ralph Klein"
Cons: may get drunk with power, ideas include selling Quebec to France, revoking child labor laws, and using money from Quebec sale to buy Alaska and name Sarah Palin Queen of the North.

Now, don't any of these five choices sound better than what we got now?